Feelings hurt. Once again.

Hey, life is like hell right now. ==
I've never felt so betrayed, hurt and backstabbed before. I've learnt, life is never a bed of roses.
There are some thorns here and there on the roses. And the thorns pricked my heart, it bled, and left a scar. I don't know whether this friendship have any flicker of hope left. ):

I'm like, so sad right now. But when I go out, to school, to tuition, I just try to smile brightly to not let the people around me to worry. I think this must be the darkest part of my life. I didn't think my friends would do this. I finally saw their true colours.

I realised, so many people don't like me, hate me. I don't know why. Maybe its because of my attitude, appearance, or just plainly me. One thing is for sure, I'm not born in this world to make you happy and listen to your shit. I did make the effort to try to salvage this friendship, but you didn't why should I? Since you don't give a shit, why should I?

Although this feeling hurts, I'm gonna suck it up, stand tall and start all over. I guess I'm gonna be a loner in school, I guess that's inevitable.

I'm gonna study hard, try my very best, pass my EOY with flying rainbows. Then, I'm gonna shove my results into your face and say "IN YOUR FACE, BIATCH." :D

I sound like a freaking sadist right now, but yeah. No one understands how I feel. This feeling just sucks k. lalalalalala. kbye.

Signing off,

7:26pm

~Iloveyou~

Hello there people of the earth. :P

Yo ~ So, well, since when did I not blog? NO IDEA. :D kthen, Astley keep bugging me to update my blog. [Naaaw, I stil love her. No stealing, bleaah. :P]

For the 27,28,29,30,31 of August, I'm not gonna mention. :P
But 1st of September was like, freaking awesome. <3
Lalala ~ It was teacher's day celebration!
In the morning, we had our ACES Day workout. Taekwondo demonstration to V.I.Ps :) I feel so proud ~
K, then 1 hour of recess. (Y) Rare yo. Then concert. Damn shit, Reiko's voice was awesomeeeeee!!!!!! (Y) I totally enjoyed the concert. Awesome max. <3 Some of our school teachers sang to Jessie J's price tag. Ms Shazleen has an awesome voice. Ms Lim so cute. hahahahaha. :D Then is class party that Ernie, Reiko and me was in-charge of. Mdm Erlis was awesome k. She help to order as well as pay for the pizza. :D I love Mdm Erlis! Then we had cake, drinks and tidbits. Reiko leaded the karaoke and Farhanah was damn hyper. I love Farhanah! :P

Then Party Rock Anthem was playing, ehheheheh. Everyday I'm shuffling. xD

k, then on Satuday, had band. I play the euphonium btw. Then there are only 2 euphonium players, which is me and darren. And walao, on Saturday, he pangseh, leave me 1 euphonium player. I like a noob only lorh please. Awkward ~

Then band played some awesome songs. Then had individual practice. :3 Then for the full band again. Lalalalalalala ~

Okay, today, after tuition at 12, April and Joverlyn pei me go each lunch ^^ Then Joverlyn come my house to watch "Dream Team" She look at Minho and drool, I look at Taemin and drool. Nyehehehehe. :P

After that, she had to go for guzheng practice and she came back later to watch "Dream Team" again.

She stayed for dinner. :D Yaaaay ^^

Thenthen, I have camp tomorrow for obese people. I borderline obese okay. I admit, Im FAT. You got a problem with that? SHOO. I don't need you in my life. -'- People that judge people by their looks and insults and tease people should just go and die in a hole. -.- GO AWAY.

I can't wait for tomorrow's camp. After going into the health and wellness program, I learnt that yes, I am obese. I accept that fact. I'm trying hard now to lose weight. But the temptation of food sometimes just, uhh, you-know. -.- LALALALALALA.

k, I need to go and pack for tomorrow and do the freaking journal already. Byeee ~ <3

Signing off,
8:35pm
~Iloveyou~

About today. [What else? -.-]

Yo! Today was kinda awesome. x)

k, firstly, next Thursday would be the Teacher's Day celebration.

In the morning would be the Taekwondo workout for ACES day with VIPs.

Next, it's ONE HOUR recess. ^^

Then, it's the concert. Yaaay! Reiko's awesome singing. <3

After that, its 2 periods of PARTEHHHHH!!!! Which Reiko, Ernie and I are in charge of.

SO FUN! :D Pizza, cakes, soft drinks, ice cream, sweets, & lots of junk food here I come~

School ended at 12:45pm. Then followed Reiko to see her rehearsal until 1:30pm.

Then need to meet up with bandmates to do Teacher's Day stuffs.

So fun sia! Laughlaughlaugh so much. <3

Then went to Cp at about 3:30pm with Astley. Ate fast food. I'M FAT, I KNOW THAT. kthxbai.

Naah, jk. Reached home at about 5pm.

Then Facetime with Astley. :D <3 I ruv her! ^^

I can't wat for tomorrow though. :D

Playing basketball with Astley, and maybe shermaine and huixian. :) The awesome ones. <3

But I think Shermaine and Huixian cannot go. :'( Gaaah, we'll know tomorrow. TT

Ohhkaay, that's all for today. Byeeee ~

Signing off,

10:05pm

~Iloveyou~

Taekwondo. ^^

Hellooooooooo. (:

Today was kinda awesome. :D

My friend, Reiko, will be taking part in the Teacher's Day Performance next Thursday and her singing is damn awesome. <3

K, today we need to stay back in school for ACES day workout for next Thursday.

Woaah, I'm like, so tired right now. :3

Ilikesomeone.

k, -ahemahem- is so handsome and cute. xD -blushh-

But I think -ahemahem- don't even know of my existence. O.o That's kinda sad.

Ain't gonna give up, heheh. I'm sure theres some other girls that like -ahemahem- too.

But judging from my looks, I don't stand a chance. *Sigh*

Nevermind, studies is more important right now.

No time for relationships. Besides, I'm too young. -hinthint- :P

kthxbye. ^^

Signing off,

6:46pm

~Iloveyou~

I don't know if I can trust anyone again.

Yo, I just came back from school after band and eating dinner with my awesome friends, Astley and Shermaine! <3

K, they are mine, don't steal horh. :P Jkjk. ^^

And btw, helloooooo blog! I'm back to blogging again. (: I'm sorry, I broke my promise of blogging everyday cause I'm lazy just like that. xD

The reason why I am back to blogging is that I have so many things bottled up inside, I just have to spill it all out somewhere. I don't know if I can trust anyone now. I know I can trust Astley, Shermaine, Huixian and some others but I don't think they would wanna just sit down and listen to me talk crap. It's selfish.

So, since I have not been posting much here, I noticed people don't even go to my blog anymore, I can just say now.

I have some friendship problems recently, blog. I don't know whether they are still my friends. Sometimes, they are so nice and friendly, but sometimes they just talk secrets amongst themselves and when I ask them, they won't say. I really don't know anymore ...

Something tells me not to trust them because I know they don't like my existence. I feel so "extra" around them. You must be thinking on why I still tag along with them. It's because I wanna give them a few chances, I wanna see if their attitude towards me change. If it changes, its for the better? Or worse? I have so many questions in my mind. If only someone can help me answer them.

Friendships are just so complicated. School, homework, parents, teachers, all the stress and pressure. How long more can I handle all of this? Be sure of this, I won't be so stupid to do anything foolish. Don't worry. (:

I just need some time to sort out my mind, and everything else. My grades are dropping drastically too. How do I face my parents? Everything is not working out so far. I appear happy and always smiling. The truth is, I just wanna scream and cry, plug in my earpiece and ignore the world.

I know I have friends I can trust. Or not? Will they disappoint me too? I've learnt to be a better friend, at least, try to. I don't wanna be troublesome. :') I will try to laugh and smile as long as I can. I think I've ranted enough. All the best to me.

Signing off,

8:16pm

~Iloveyou~

A-Pink - I Don't Know

Hihi , its me Cheryl hacking Joycelyn account.

She wanted to post our cover into her blog so i 'hacked' into her account yeah. Soo the music and video is edited by mua. Don't like it? Don't listen -.-

Enjoy!
Beware : It might hurt your ears especially Bomi's and Eunji's Part.

-CM<3

12 June, Sunday, 10.45pm

OKAY HIIIIIEEEE! First, morning got tuition then went to the salon. I "ironed" my hair. guessguess. I look weird k. == but, I <3 it! :D
I'm only gonna post abit cause it's late.

Sorry, I notice my posts are getting shorter and shorter but I will post everyday unless going overseas. Cause well yeah, I promised yz to post everyday for her to stalk. ==

AND FINALLY, MY TWITTER IS WORKING! THANKS TO MINKI!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!! :D

okok, went to hougang mall for dinner and ate korean food, thats all.

I'm meeting Beatrice and some classmates to chiongg! homework tomorrow. ==

Holy lots of project to do. ==

gaaah, okay bye,

I don't wanna be late tomorrow.

Goodnights and sweetdreams! <3

Ppyong!

Signing off,

XxJoyciieexX

10.51pm

~Iloveyou~

11 June 2011. Saturday, 2.18pm

Okay hi. Today, I woke up at 6+ and prepared for my cousin's wedding. The gifts were Made-In-Candy!!!!! Customised with their initials on top, ain't it cute? :)

It's gonna be a short post cause I'm currently having a headache and I feel like vomiting. X.x Pray that I won't vomit all over my keyboard cause that would be freaking gross. -.-

Yz sms then tell me today mucore yoseob and doojoon gonna be MCs. Like, YAAAAY. Then Boyfriend is gonna perform. DOUBLE YAAAAAY.

That's all baah. ._. Ciaaos.

Signing off,
XxJoyciieexX

2.22pm

~Iloveyou~

10 June, Friday, 8.18pm

OHAITHERE. I really wonder if anyone is still reading my blog. :/

Hmm ... I don't really remember why I made a blog, I guess it was to please Yz and to let her have another blog to stalk. But, do you still stalk? :(

Okay, today I woke up at 9:30am [I have been waking earlier than expected nowadays, huh?] No actually, I needed to meet up with Beatrice, LOL. We met at hougang mall at 11am to have brunch. We ate at Long John's Silver, I ate Texas Chicken and she ate Big Fish. Both of us had the big milo or something. -.- I thought the serving was small. And god-knows-what-happened and BOOM!!! A huge serving of sandwich. Luckily my mouth was big enough but it almost exploded, seriously. -.- after eating, my stomach felt like exploding too. -_-

Then, we took MRT to punggol to meet See En to take photos for the homework at Punggol Park. At Punggol Park met zhe yu there. DO THE 2 BOYS EVER STOP COMPLAINING?! -.-

took pics and blahblahblah. Beatrice came my house. Watch pi li M.I.T , Aaron yan so haaawt. @.@ But Jo Youngmin hotter, bleaah. \m/

The womans wanted to role play idols. FYI, role players aren't FAKE. Stop friggin calling them fake. -.-

They ask me to role play Youngmin, so like duhh, I agreed.

WHAT FREAKING PISSED ME OFF TODAY WAS :
Someone else already role played Jo Youngmin and NO ONE TOLD ME. -.-
I was like "Wow, thanks alot guys. I was totally looking forward to role playing for the first time. My job is taken now, THANKS. -.-" I'm not actually angry cause I don't have the chance to role play, but because no one told me . forget it. It's useless complaining now eh? Pffft.

[Womans, I still love you k. :)]

Blaaaaaaah, today was okay uh. -.- [if you believe it. -.-]

Okay, got to go. Ppyong!~

Signing off,

XxJoyciieexx

8.33pm

~Iloveyou~

9 June 2011, Thursday, 8.02pm

Hihihihihi, I thought of something, since I can't think of titles ALWAYS. I will just put it as todays date, day and time. If I need a title, then I will put a title, kaay? :)

Hmm today, I woke up at 7+ due to a nightmare. -.- I woke up crying but whatever, I don't wanna elaborate on it. Then I went back to sleep and woke up again at 10am. I bathe and do the blahblahblah and left home at 10 45am to meet Reiko to have lunch with her and then come to my house and do project. We went shopping awhile then buy icecream. =P walked home after that.

After coming home, we read the books we borrowed from the library awhile then started doing project. Yz and cheryl tell me we singing another cover. A Pink - I don't know. I singing Chorong and Hayoung, must record my part le then email Cheryl. I today too busy lerh, can't record, sorry ahh! ><"

Basically, we "did" our project. Okay, we slacked throughout, LOLOL.

We started reading fanfics, then couldn't stop, hahahaah. We always get distracted. -.-
okayokay, I promise we will concentrate next time. Err, try to. >.>

At 5:10pm, I needed to go for tuition then Reiko went home.
Teehee, tuition so fun. ^o^ LIZBOX RAWKS TTVM. THE PEOPLE ROCK THERE OKAY. Okay. XD

Went home at 7:30pm went home and ate dinner.

My mum bought me 3 clothes. Yeah, they are nice. But they don't look nice on me. == cause I'm ... chubbier than most people. :P [you get what I mean right?] Okay fine. I'm coming straight to the point and I'm not gonna deny that I'm overweight. -.- Blaaaaaaaaaah.

Hmm ... now I'm here blogging. I don't know what to say anymore, LOLOL.

kaay, I LOVE JO YOUNGMIN, KTHXBAI.

THATS ALL ~
Readers, take care okaay ! :D Ciaaaos! ^^

Signing Off,
xJoyciieexX

8.25pm

~Iloveyou~ <3

Must I always put a title?! =="

8 June 2011 4.31pm

Okay hi. Look at my title. Do I really have to put a title whenever I wanna post something?! -.-

Hmm, whatever, today I woke up at 9:30am. Cause Cheryl ask us wake up early to finish recording the cover for Beast-Fiction. Waited till 10.45am. Yz finally came online. -.- Thenn, 11+ Cheryl then come online, haiyooo, I wanted to sleep more. :/

Then, we started recording. Yz voice damn low, haha. But she pro rapper, XD Okay, my voice suckzxc, really. ==" So embarrassing. >.<" Just finish recording everything, now Cheryl editing. :o

I heard a little bit. -_- Don't need me to elaborate any further. You should know how it sounds like, right? ._.

[ehhh, you notice I like putting emoticons, don't mind me. :P]

Hmm ... afternoon ate ban mian, then went down again to buy ice cream. Weather so hot!! Bring your egg and pan out in the sun and poooff, your egg will freaking cook. ._.

I will post something on my blog everyday because I promised Yz I will. -.-" How nice.

Now Yz at band. I'm so bored without her talking to me, blaah. :3

Astley now also overseas, can't sms or use internet. T~T Astley IMY!!!!!!!!!! But, still, enjoy your trip. :)
Xavier normally is my text buddy but no matter what topic to chat with, HE WILL ALWAYS GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT MAPLE. !@#$%

So practically, no one to chat with. -.-Sms me if you want, I'm dead bored.

I just watched finish Boyfriend's Coffee Friend [parody of coffee prince] it's SO ADORABLE. <3 Especially Jo Youngmin and No Minwoo ~ :D Mueehehhe. But without subs, so I don't know what they talking about. Seems cute. xD

Okay, I talk enough already. Or maybe type. Whatever. Byeee, I go homework. LIVE UP THE NAME OF HOMEWORK GIRL. >:)

Teehee, Byeeee~ :D

Signing Off,

XxJoyciieexX

4.49pm <3

~Iloveyou~

webcamming

7 June 2011 8.36pm

Harloww. Just did web-camming with awesome friends named yanzhen woman and cheryl woman. XD Damn epic derh kaay. We planned on singing BEAST - Fiction. Yanzhen rap Junhyung and sing Dongwoon. Cheryl sing Yoseob and Gikwang. I sing Hyunseung and Doojoon. It was okaay. o-o

Cheryl and Yanzhen look so cute, bwahah. [don't kill me. XD]

hehe. Then we start singing our own songs. Obviously I sing Boyfriend, don't need say. =="

Now I don't know where Yanzhen go le, she left the chat, huhuhuhu. TT YANZHEN WHERE YOU GO?!?!?!?! Abandon me and Cheryl, hmph! D:< Faster come back lehh. ><"

Now Cheryl and I webcamming lo, her hair sooooooo long. :o

teehee ~ Maybe tomorrow afternoon or night then start to webcam again. yipeeee. >:) I love this girls, blueehk, not lesbians kayy. I love them as awesome friends, ^^ ;P Don't jealous. XD

Anyway, this blog will be full of crap. But, I'm gonna try to crack jokes here and there, GO WITH THE FLOW PEEPO. >:)

See, I don't know what I'm talking about. k,whatever. -.- Buhbhye. My 3rd post today, nothing more to say, heheheh. OH, AND MY BLOG REACHED 100 VIEWS IN 2 DAYS. THANKS SO MUCH! :D WHEEEEE ^^v kthxbai. :3

Buaais. ~

Signing off,

XxJoyciieexX

8.45pm

~Iloveyou~

Homework.

7 June 2011 2.42pm

Heyhey, this is my second post today. Guess I'm just THAT bored. =="

But, I got to go soon.

I need to do my homework. -.-

Pshh, yz woman, I know what you thinking. hwgirl horh. XD

June HOLIDAY. Yeah right, HOLIDAY.
So, Holiday consists of having lots of homework and projects, how nice.

I LOVE MY HOLIDAY :D [sense my sarcasm. -.-]

Okay, got to go. BUHBHYE PEEPO.
Do comment on my posts as well as tagboard kaay? :)

Signing off.

XxJoyciieexX

2.47pm

~Iloveyou~

Uhh ... Me. and. my. life. o-o?!

7 June 2011 11.42am

SUP. okay, I woke up at 10am today and started day-dreaming about Boyfriend.

Boyfriend is the new rookie group that debuted on the 26th May 2011. It consists of:
동현 (DONGHYUN) age 21
현성 (HYUNSEONG) age17
정민 (JEONGMIN) age 17
영민 (YOUNGMIN) age 16
광민 (KWANGMIN) age 16
민우 (MINWOO) age 15

Youngmin and Kwangmin are twins btw. ^^ JO TWINS FTW <3
My bias is Jo Youngmin, no snatchy-snatchy. :P

bluek. :P I love him so much. <3

Okay, I'm gonna introduce some awesome people in my life. I love them. <3

-Yanzhen a.k.a Yz a.k.a Woman a.k.a Joker's woman. :P
-Chloe Gummy
-Angel Pocky

-Season Sijie

-Soo Pei Yi a.k.a SPY

-Cheryl LovesOnew

[This 6 people are my cyber friends that rock my life ttvm. ^^ <3 Love ya! ;)]

-Astley

-Casey

-Cheryl

-Chinyi

-Chloe Kan

-Denise

-Edelene

-Farhanah

-Felicia

-Fion

-Geraldine

-Jacqui

-Joverlyn

-Kaimin

-Kimberly

-Mae

-Marcus [okok laah, LOLS]

-Minki

-'Aqilah [Hi, ILOVEANDMISSYOUSOMUCH TT]

-Jing lin

-Reiko

-Sabrina

-Shalinie

-SHERMAINE <3 HAAHAH,

-Sherrie

-Hui xian

-Nica

-Qianwen

-Shi min

-Wei Qi

-Jing Xuan

-Ying hsia

-Xavier [this, okok also. STOP ANNOYING ME WITH MAPLE!]

-I LOVE BOYFRIEND [I don't have a Boyfriend. -.- I'm talking about the idol group stated up there ^]

-I LOVE JO YOUNGMIN

Okay, I love this people, they guys that are added there, don't be awkward, I love you as a friend kaay. ^^] Those that is not on my list, I may have missed out kaay. Don't worry, I LOVE YOU TOO. :D

I LOVE MY PARENTS AND RELATIVES. <3

Mummy, Daddy, I love you. Thanks for everything. ;D

What else ... hmm ...

I also don't know already bwahah.

Okay, I go bathe le. Then I go eat my cup noodles for lunch. Parents not at home, no one cook, I lazy go downstairs and buuy food also, blueeek. :P
Okay, I guess, enough of my ranting? haahah.

Okay, I LOVE JO YOUNGMIN, KTHXBAI. :D

Signing off,

XxJoyciieexX

12.15pm <3

~Iloveyou~

Hello.
6 June 2011. 10:59pm.

Okay, hi. It's gonna be a short post, just saying hi. =="
Okay, I'm weird. Bear with me. XD
Hi there ~ Asking why I'm posting so little? Look at the time. LOL.

okay, got to go. Parents nagging. oh, you know how horrible it is when they nag.

ughh, byee ~ ^^


Signing off,

XxJoyciieexX
11.01pm
[hahaha, only 2 minutes. XD]